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Life with Autism
You are not alone! Designed to be a forum for sharing experiences and gaining understanding of others trials and successes, we hope this page will strengthen you and help you through tough times…and even make you laugh. Get a cold drink, pull up a chair, and click around for a while. Because really, we are only as strong as our Diet Coke, our hairspray or Old Spice, and our friends.
Living with autism can be very challenging and yet very rewarding. Families and individuals react differently to the same situations, but they can all provide us with insight. We want you to send us YOUR story! Visit “A Day In The Life” for details.
MY LIFE WITH AUTISM: BY CHERYL SMITH
As a parent, having someone tell you that your child has severe autism, a lifelong disorder with no conclusive cause and no cure, is a devastating thing to hear. Lots of questions, some denial, lots of grieving for the child we thought we had, and then jumping into the quest to try and fix it.
Our son, Carson, is a three-year old in a twelve year-old’s body, and he is definitely going through the terrible twos! As mothers, we often say we wished there were a handbook for children – well I wished I had the handbook, the tutorial, the CD, and the supplemental glossary. My resume has been lengthened many times over by adding teacher, nurse, speech pathologist, occupational therapist, trainer, track star and football player, psychologist, researcher, designer of t-shirts, secretary, artist, stunt car driver, magician, peace maker, and interpreter.
Let’s talk about some little known facts that I have discovered: Did you know that it takes only 45 minutes of exercise time downstairs to find your bathroom upstairs completely flooded? The car door can be open and shut approximately 6 times while driving down the freeway? A 20 oz. jar of peanut butter will cover an entire brocade chair? Life guards can make it to the top of the outdoor slide in approximately 2 minutes from hearing screams and subsequently observing a kid hanging from the outside of the railing two stories above yelling, “to infinity and beyond?” Four out of five plumbers will give a discount for retrieving Buzz out of the toilet for the 4th time in a month? Approximately 3.2 people will give free advice while waiting in line at the grocery story while your child is eating dog biscuits?
I also didn’t know that we would listen to our child’s attempts at words as if he were giving the speech of a lifetime, or how thrilling it would be hear numbers 1-10 counted over and over again all day long, or the excitement of passing by the adolescent diaper section and not purchasing any, hearing the word, “mom” would bring tears to my eyes, or a reciprocal hug would be so priceless. I didn’t know that we could be celebrating on a daily basis, that all developmental steps are huge! I didn’t know so many lifelong, deep friendships could be formed, or that so many people care. I didn’t know I could feel so much stress and pressure, financially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically; and yet so much love and hope.
There is no way to have a rainbow without rain. We can’t feel joy if we never experience sorrow. We can’t separate experience and take out only the part that doesn’t hurt us. But we can use this experience with autism, the one that we didn’t ask for, the one that we would have done anything to avoid, to make us better through what our kids teach us.
I have no idea what a perfect life looks like, but I can figure out what happy looks like. We can let go of dreams of the past and make new ones. Give yourself a break. We can’t fix everything, most things don’t change no matter how long we cry, or how much cookie dough we eat… crap! cuz if it did, I’d work on those big kids I have who don’t have autism! The joy we experience in this journey of life is in us. The tasks or circumstances may or may not change, but we can always find the joy in ourselves. And, if there is no joy, you know that your challenge will make a good story! My dear friend Laura told me a long time ago, we can either laugh or drink…we decided to laugh…for now…
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About the Autism Council of Utah
The Autism Council of Utah is an independent council working to foster collaboration, communication, and learning among families and agencies. Our aim is to promote access to resources and responsible information for individuals of all ages who have, or are affected by autism, or related conditions.